It's not you, it's me...

Growing up my mom always told me I have a special gift, I have a great love for people, and I had never really known what she was talking about. I mean ya I guess I loved people but I could honestly get along with anyone... I mean the first time my friend told me that "so-and so" doesn't like you I went home and cried! I was like 16! It hurt so bad to know that "so-and-so" doesn't like me, and it wasn't in a "crush" sort of way it was he honestly didn't like me as a friend or a person.
I don't know when this gift to love people I had went away, but I really miss it. I think it happened when I moved to Utah, I think it's because I have had 2 life's. I don't know very many people that have lived two life's but I have.
You see I used to have this life with this wonderful family in this beautiful home where I had a mom and a dad and lots of sister. Every Sunday we went to church altogether and had an amazing dinner and every Saturday we would clean the house. We got up super early every morning to have scripture study and we would end every night with a family prayer. I loved this life, I loved people, I loved everything.
Then I moved to Utah and I had a mom and siblings, and lots of family here. And every Sunday we went to church together and had a amazing dinner, and every Saturday we would clean the house. And we read scriptures at night and we would end every night with a prayer, but it was different... I don't know why and I don't know how but I changed.
Obviously there is a BIG difference between these two life's I have lived, and I'm not looking for sympathy or anything so don't think that, but I believe my gift went away when my dad was killed in an accident. And I say killed because that's what happened, he didn't die, he didn't pass away he was hit on his Bike and killed. I do miss him a lot, no one will ever understand. And I want him back, but something left from me with him.
I have lost this special gift and I want it back... I do love people but sometimes they just drive me crazy!!! And I'm not saying this because someone is driving me crazy at this moment I am saying this because I need to get over this attitude and get my gift back.
So when I snap at you for some stupid reason I just want you to know that it's not you, it's me. I am working on it and I guess you'll just have to be a little patient with me. And I'm sure all of you who are reading this obviously we are pretty close and I have probably snapped at you before and I just want to say

I'm sorry.

and

I'll be better.

I promise.

New Year's Resolution

Well it's that time of year again where we all make a bunch of promises that we try to keep but only succeed in some of them. I however have only one New Year's Resolution and it's been going pretty good. This is what it is...

I have tried over and over and over again to stop biting my nails. This time I'm gonna do it!

The Flasher (I dont mean the camera kind)

Last weekend Jonny went and visited his family in Sparks. But this post isn't about his trip he can do that and tell you all about it (he probably wont I dont think he's even looked at this blog since he wrote our proposal story like over a year ago). No this post is about our experience taking him to the Train Station to go to Sparks... enjoy.



It was a cold Thursday evening, New Year's eve to be exact, we drove to the Train Station in Provo. I was kinda sad, not very excited for him to go because this was the first time he has ever left me at home. As we pull up to this tiny parking lot at this tiny station, were a bit early I was nervous that he was going to miss the Train. We parked and just talked and Provo Town Center stated lighting fireworks, it was so nice to be in our warm car looking out the front window watching Fireworks.

So we were waiting for the train which was only like 10 minutes away, and this car pulls up next to us on my side (I was in the driver's seat) and Im asking Jonny if he looks creepy, and how old he looks and Jonny was just laughing at me and said I can look at him cuz his head is turned, so I turn my head to look at him and he turns his head toward me at the same time. I didn't want him to think I just wanted to stare at him so I smiled and turned my head back toward Jonny.

Well now the train should be there any minute. So I looked out the window to the left cuz thats the direction that the train should be coming and it is also the direction of this man in the car next to me, well he gets out of his car and is facing me, he opens his jacket and Im thinking, this man doesn't have a shirt on, so I was just about to tell Jonny that this guy next to us is nuts cuz he doesn't have a shirt on but before I tell Jonny that I look down and this guy doesn't have ANYTHING on!!!! He was completely naked! I turned to Jonny and said very calmly "That guy just showed me his penis." Jonny at first didn't believe me until he looked over and the guy was driving away in his car. Jonny tried to get the guys licence plate numbers but we couldn't.... and come to find out the train was an hour late!

But I was honestly a little freaked out by the whole thing, not cuz I saw a man's penis cuz honestly it was dark and I didn't see really anything, but I was a little freaked out cuz it could have been something so much worse. We were in a crappy part of town and NO-ONE was around. Im really grateful that it wasn't any worse. I didn't sleep very good that night but I think that was mainly cuz Jonny wasn't there next to me.

I wish I could go back and redo the whole thing cuz you know what I would have done differently? When the stupid pervert got out of his car to flash me I would have pointed and laughed as loud as I could and said "thats the smallest thing I've ever seen!!!"